So what does chemistry in a relationship actually mean?
To some people it’s having the feeling of butterflies in the tummy when they see the person of their dreams, to others it’s an all over warm feeling that brings a smile to their face when they see the object of their desire and to others it’s similar to a feeling of gratitude that this particular person has come in to their life.
The people in the third group, who experience chemistry as a feeling similar to gratitude, generally speaking these people are usually dating for a while and have got to know each other rather well. The first two describe couples who are relatively new to dating and sometimes this type of chemistry wares off after a few weeks or months as they get to know each other better and decide they don’t like certain aspects of each other’s personalities, value systems, etc.
One of the most interesting aspects of being a match maker for me is talking to couples whom I’ve matched to find out how things are coming along. This is usually about three weeks after I’ve exchanged phone numbers.
I get mixed reviews as you can imagine! Some couples are in the first or second group above, all gushing about the person I matched them with. Others are more grounded about it, saying things like “we have lots in common, spend hours chatting and time flies when we’re together”. Nothing about butterflies or warm gushy feelings!
Yet the interesting thing is that the couples in the third group usually last the distance, make it through the ups and downs and challenges and are still together several months later.
So if you’re thinking that chemistry is crucial to a relationship think again, because a lot of the couples I’ve matched over the years are living proof that you can begin a relationship without chemistry, but with respect, mutual interests, humour, similar values, empathy and open mindedness.
If you’re waiting for someone exciting to come along and sweep you off your feet, you could be missing out on someone else who may be right under your nose!