Dating in Ireland today can be daunting for some people. You want to make a good impression but sometimes lack of confidence or dating experience can result in feelings of apprehension. Below we give you some useful hints and tips about how you can make the first date enjoyable both for yourself and your partner.
Handy tips for a first date:
- Always arrive on time or a few minutes before the arranged time. The man should always hold the door open for the lady when entering and leaving a bar or restaurant. It may sound old fashioned but most women appreciate it! If a door is already open, always allow the lady to walk in or out before you.
- Make a special effort to look your best: clothes, hair, nails & shoes. Always go for a shower & wear a little perfume/aftershave. Too much can be overpowering both for you and your date.
- Try to relax and enjoy yourself. If you’re feeling nervous take a few deep breaths and admit to your date how you’re feeling. He or she will have more respect for you if you’re open and honest about your feelings and believe it or not but it’s the best way to get rid of the nerves!
- You may be tempted to drink to steady the nerves but this can be counter-productive if you get tipsy. It’s the surest way to ruin any chance of a second date so keep it to a minimum!
- Put your phone on silent. It’s very disrespectful to be checking your messages or texting.
- Try to keep the conversation on safe topics. Hobbies and past-times are a good conversation piece, as are stories about your experiences at work or places you have visited while on holiday or courses you may have done.
- It is better to avoid discussing politics and religion during the first few dates until you get to know each other a little more as these topics have the potential to develop into heated debates! Also, it is better not to talk about ex-partners. If you do decide to mention an ex-partner, try not to be overly negative or critical of him/her. Even if your ex did treat you badly, a new partner will not want to listen to you ranting and raving about how you have been mistreated. It is more mature to concentrate on the present moment with your new date and making that as enjoyable an experience as possible for both of you. There will be plenty of opportunities to talk about your past relationships once you get to know your new partner a little better.
- Always tell the truth. You may feel tempted to make yourself look more exciting than you believe you are, but generally the truth comes out in the end and then you’ll look foolish! On the other hand don’t put yourself down either. Try to strike a balance between pretentiousness & modesty.
- Make an effort to sound positive as it is depressing listening to someone talking negatively. Also, positive, optimistic people are a lot more fun to be with!
- Keep the dialogue moving in a balanced way, with each person contributing equally. If one person hogs the conversation it becomes very un-balanced and the person doing most of the talking looks self-centred. If you are shy or retiring make an effort to join in the chat as much as you can or you may look indifferent or bored. It’s a balancing act to get it right but worth it in the long run.
- Try to avoid looking at other people around you and give all your attention to your date. When he or she is speaking, try to maintain eye contact as much as possible and nod or smile to let them know you are following their line of conversation. Try to avoid butting in with “I know what you mean, that happened to me too………” Let him or her finish speaking and then you can relay your story! Good listening skills are essential to a successful relationship.
- Avoid talking about yourself during the entire date. Keep the conversation mixed with lots of different nuggets of information about various topics. It is not advisable to let your date know everything about you and your history in one go.
- Nowadays, it is common for people to go “Dutch” where both parties take turns paying for food or drink. However, it is also considered good manners for the man to offer to pay on the first date, even if he is not taken up on it.
- Remember to smile as it is very disconcerting to sit opposite a person with a serious facial expression!
- Give a few compliments but not too many and always only compliment your date when you mean it. Otherwise it is flattery and people can see through that very easily.
- Most of all have fun! Whatever else dating in Ireland should be we all agree it should be fun! If you go on a date with a fun-filled, positive outlook all the rest will fall into place. If you discover that there is chemistry between you all the better!
We are finding that it is the people who have an open mind and are willing to ‘give it a go’ are generally more successful in the area of dating. Ticking a lot of boxes in your head and writing someone off because they don’t have all the requirements you are looking for will keep you single for longer. Try to become more open and less restrictive and you’ll reap the rewards! Happy Dating in Ireland !